Day 3: Princess Leia’s Lip Gloss or How to Make Your Lipstick Last through an Intergalactic War by Angie
While guys may have loved Princess Leia’s golden bikini slave look, we ladies have always adored the original look: long white dress with funky hood, silver belt, and that crazy hair. But what has always amused me is how Princess Leia’s juicy, cherry red lip gloss apparently lasted for several days, possibly weeks! This ever-lasting gobstopper of lip products endured through endless days of interrogation and torture on the Death Star, an escape from a prison cell, a fall down a garbage chute, and even a stolen kiss with her rescuer.
My theory of how Leia’s lip gloss survived for weeks? I think she had provisions including a stash of lip gloss in those buns. Like Amy Winehouse who apparently tucks necessities in her beehive or like Pam Grier in Coffee, hiding weapons such as razor blades in her formidable hair, Leia might have had a stash of cosmetics in her crazy updo. Hey, this girl was prepared – you never know when you might be swept off your feet by a space pirate who looks like Harrison Ford.
By the way, did you know that this piece of original dialogue was cut from Star Wars after test audiences seemed perplexed: “Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re my only hope to find another tube of this fabulous, long lasting lip gloss and I only have half a tube left inside my right bun. Oh, and then there are these plans to the Death Star that you might need but first can you stop at that Duane Reade just outside Mos Isley Space Port?”
What would the great intergalactic lipstick or other beauty product of the future be able to do? Come on ladies, think like Ray Bradbury or Philip K. Dick if they were 18year old girls imagining the lip product of the year 2050. Remember in Total Recall when the receptionist could point a pen at her nails and w/a click the color changed? My lipstick of the future would be like a mood ring and change w/my whims, it would last all day and it would also retain moisture and sheen. It would be contained in the tiniest pen with a collapsible mirror that would open up like a tiny fan from one end.