Day 23: The Lippie That Does Not Exist
by MUA's Cavewoman

Dear Blogdorf Readers, I present to you a lippie that does not exist. Now, you know there is a fascinating story coming, with a title like this! And indeed, this is a fascinating, amazing, unbelievable story. Here it goes.

Tuesday: I receive a phone call from my dear friend and drugstore-makeup-expert, PattyG. She's in a Walgreens store outside of Atlanta, staring at a new display from L'Oreal, so excited by what she's seeing that she just had to call me. She knows we both love all the new and fun drugstore collections, and she wants to tell me about what she is seeing. It is a new pink L'Oreal lipstick called Diane's Rose, part of an entire group of Beauty Confidential products "Inspired By Diane Keaton." Of course I ask her to grab one of these lippies for me, because if Patty says I will love it, I will! She describes the other items in the collection, and I ask her to buy the primer (yes! a primer by L'Oreal! at long last!) and a shadow quad in cool tones, and a clicky-pen brightener. I couldn't wait to see all of these things! To try to see what I'll be receiving, I google for half an hour and can't come up with one single word on the L'Oreal Beauty Confidential Inspired By Diane Keaton Collection.

Wednesday: I hit three Walgreens and three RiteAids in my area. I come up with nothing. No Diane Keaton things in my town. PattyG writes to me to tell me that the coral lippie in the Keaton collection is worthy, and she grabs one of those to send to me too. I scour the internet for info. Nothing. It's as if this collection does not even exist.

Thursday: I'm intrigued and befuddled. I google again, and again there is not one speck of information on the internet. The L'Oreal website requires that I install Flash Player 9. I decline. My computer's clogged up enough as it is. I google their corporate offices phone number in NYC and head to the phone.

Dear Reader, what is to come will astonish you. I am connected to a Customer Representative named Dawn. I tell her what my friend Patty found on the L'Oreal display, and ask her for more information on the Beauty Confidentials Inspired By Diane Keaton. After two minutes on hold, Dawn tells me that Diane Keaton is a spokesperson for the L'Oreal Age Perfect skincare line, but "there are no cosmetics with her name on them." I kid you not. I insist that my friend found this collection. Dawn insists back that "Diane Keaton must have done a cosmetic line for another company." Dawn is telling me that this collection does not exist. I'm so speechless I can barely say goodbye to Dawn. During an errand run on the other side of town, I try another Walgreens and another RiteAid. Nope.

On Thursday evening, Ms. Blogdorf and I hit a grocery store that usually gets all of the new L'Oreal items before the drugstores do. Nothing. When I get home, I have an email from Patty, showing me a photo of the now-almost-empty display from Walgreens that she took with her cell phone. If a photo is proof of existence, look here, Dawn! There really IS a Diane Keaton collection!

Friday: My box from PattyG arrives! I swoon over this beautiful lipstick and can't wait to try everything! The packaging is lovely and grown-up and womanly, dressed in Keaton's famous pantsuit white. It's all beyond gorgeous! I want to call Dawn and tell her. I want her email address so I can show her The Lipstick That Does Not Exist.